A survivor can learn to grieve himself out of fear - the death of feeling safe.

He can learn to grieve himself out of shame - the death of feeling worthy.

He can learn to grieve himself out of depression - the death of feeling fully alive.

With sufficient grieving, the survivor gets that he was innocent and eminently loveable as a child. As he mourns the bad luck of not being born to loving parents, he finds within himself a fierce, unshakeable self-allegiance. He becomes ready, willing and able to be there for himself no matter what he is experiencing - internally or externally.