Maintaining a public blog and offering my services isn’t easy, especially for someone like me. Even though I’m not bad at marketing and can easily create a nice "wrapper" for a project, name it, or write content for a website, doing it for myself is much harder.

Familiar feeling?

About ten years ago, I first realized there was a void inside me. Where the core of my personality should be, there was nothing—or at least, that’s how it seemed. Many of you have probably felt that unpleasant sensation: if someone looks at me closely, spends enough time with me, they’ll realize I’m not interesting, that I’m insignificant and have nothing to offer. This is classic imposter syndrome. This feeling of inner emptiness and insignificance kept me from sharing my thoughts, feelings, experiences, and discoveries online. I started many times and almost immediately stopped. I bought various online tools but never used them.

When I discovered Human Design, I threw myself into studying it, not imagining I could again abandon something I found so fascinating.Despite serious strain, balancing family, work, singing, and learning German at my job, I earned my official certification and became an analyst and instructor of the “Living Your Design” course. This achievement makes me proud.

However, health doesn’t improve with age, and my body clearly signaled that self-care is now my top priority. Genuine, adult self-care begins with health and extends to personal psychological comfort. Did you know that it’s our adult part that takes care of health? A person flaunting their iron health and not taking care of it is simply someone who hasn’t matured yet. How many such people do you see around you? I became an adult myself, starting to truly care for my health at 45, if not later. How can you take care of an inner void? It’s a strange feeling that I didn’t
exist for myself. There always had to be someone outside, for whom, for the sake of whom, together with whom... Meanwhile, I lived many years alone, by myself. Until I was 30, I was sure I wouldn’t have a family or children. Ha-ha.

And only now, approaching my 50th birthday, have I finally understood who I am and what I want. The inner void has been filled by an understanding and accepting adult who offers support and understanding instead of endless self-criticism. I’m even starting to value and respect myself. Genuinely, maturely, not through buying outfits or changing hairstyles, not through convincing myself of my grandeur while simultaneously belittling myself. But just quietly and calmly realizing that it’s good that I exist.

This project is primarily for myself, as a support in my development. This will always be my main source of income from it. Of course, I already offer coaching support and Human Design readings, consultations on integration in Germany, fact-checking, and much more. You can reach out to me with any questions and requests. I just will never sell you grand development programs, self-improvement plans, or success slogans.

I’ve already bumped my head on so many obstacles in my life! I went through moving from the Black Sea coast to 90s St. Petersburg for university at 17. I spent 22 years of my life in that challenging and beautiful city, and then I immigrated to Germany without knowing the language. On September 1st, my family will proudly celebrate the 10th anniversary of our move.

I know how to listen and hear. I have a lot to share and advise. I can look at your situation from a philosophical, psychological, or cultural perspective. If you're unsure where to start or how to find a way out, and your internal state feels like a disaster, I'm here to help you find the right tools and solutions tailored just for you. Whether it's therapy, sports, coaching, shamanic rituals, tarot readings, or getting a second degree, I'll help you find the right specialist in each field and be a reliable advisor for as long as needed. I can provide a Human Design reading. I can conduct deep fact-checking in three languages so you can make an informed decision. And I won't sell you anything except my expert opinion.

Hard to believe?

Meanwhile, I will keep developing and learning, and one day I will become an Old Wise Turtle or the Oracle from "The Matrix." Actually, I already am; it’s just that the old skin hasn’t completely shed yet...

I feel so good knowing I am there for myself! I genuinely wish this feeling for everyone who has read this far.